the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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