Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
