Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize