Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
