so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
