My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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