can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
