other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
