i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
