I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
