Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
