I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize