No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
