Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
