if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
