so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
