There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
