just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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