I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
