Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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