Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
