Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
