Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
