Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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