i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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