Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
