When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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