is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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