I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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