i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
