The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
