were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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