This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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