i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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