ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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