And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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