i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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