is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
