Why are handjobs necessary in class?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I lost the right to judge tonight
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
