he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
