Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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