I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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