How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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