just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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