I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize