I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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