I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
