First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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