i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
