So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
