it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
