Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
tell me about the fingering
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
