I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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