I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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