So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize