I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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