after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
