did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
