So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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