meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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