I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
