I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
