Define "chronic" masturbator.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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