he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
