I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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