im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize