Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
