my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize