Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
