The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
try to milk me bitch
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
