I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If I die, sorry about rent.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
