do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
