Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
