There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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