Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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