I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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