Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
