doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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