I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
