Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
