It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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