Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hippo gnu deer
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize